I feel super lucky and grateful to have crossed paths with Liliana, our wonderful doula!
I always felt intuitively that my body was designed to give birth and that I should trust it all and surrender to each step. Trusting the right timing, but as well our beautiful bodies to do this magical work.
So then on THE day I will be empowered to trust myself to take-off on a beautiful trip, leave my brain and allow my baby and my body to take control (and team together) to have a beautiful natural birth. I respect all women and couples choices, we are all different and what is right for me might not be for you!
Since I’ve been pregnant people have started to ask me what my birth plan is and when I reply homebirth in our London home, most people say "omg you are a warrior" or start to talk about tragedies and ask me if I’m sure.
I feel that I should share a little more why we are 100% committed to having a homebirth, hoping to inspire other women/couples, helping you question our societal heritage which in my opinion is filled with fears and lack of positive informations; but more than anything impedes women to be fully in power and trust their magical bodies.
Honestly going to the hospital (which for me is associated with illness and drugs) is way more scary and far from my natural birth wish! Arriving in a place that is not familiar with a team that you might not fully know, the smell, the lights, the position (which does NOT feel intuitive at all) I don’t see myself ready to open and let go at all. To me it sounds like "a one way ticket" to an epidural and I deeply believe nature is perfect and as my body is allowing me to grow this beautiful baby I have everything I need to birth her/him naturally.
Plus I use food as medicine and never take a pill, I live a healthy and natural life so once again for me this "cocktail" (epidural and all that will follow) on this special day is clearly not my first option...
As this for me means not allowing my body to feel the pain which will bring me to this other state (and help me to be fully present)
I trust we have the right hormones to support us on this intense ride.
Liliana helped me and is still guiding me to deconstruct all the beliefs we inherit, I'm convinced this extra confidence I have now comes from listening to myself fully but also from all our conversations. So of course we are not there yet and we will have our wonderful midwife present on THE day too, but as well we will register at the hospital in case anything happens...
I just wanted to share my personal point of view; and explain why our default choice is not the hospital! Of course If complications happen the hospital is a blessing, but I remember our great-grandmas did it and everything went well so why not us ?
Now I want to share with you guys some wise words by Liliana that are empowering me and maybe it will do the same for you. I feel so privileged to be surrounded by so much love, trust and support.
I wish we all have the opportunity to at least have the choice and decide for ourselves (really!) how to birth our childs...
Liliana what brought you to become a doula?
What could you say to a woman that is scared to give birth naturally?
When I discovered that I was pregnant, aged 30 years old and living in London, my grandmother's and my mother's birth stories came to my mind. As a child I heard my grandma telling friends that the birth of my mother was so quick and easy, that she asked the midwife: But where did she come out from? And the midwife answered: From where she got in!
My own birth was simple...with a midwife knitting in a corner. These reassuring birth stories meant that I had no fear, no questions...my body will know what to do.
It was 1983 and home births in London were rare. A good friend told me that I should give birth in a certain hospital, because his wife recently had a great experience there and 'you are free, you can give birth in any position'. So I registered with that hospital...and one morning, I woke up with lots of contractions...on arrival the midwife said: Great, you are 9cms! Not long after that I was crouching on a mat...I felt my baby sliding down...and at that very moment a doctor invaded the room with ten medical students, and in no time, I was given an epidural and they performed a forceps classwith us, my baby daughter and myself. No explanations, I was traumatized.
When expecting a second baby, in 1987, I remember thinking 'never again'...and I looked for somebody who would assist my birth at home. This is how I met Dr Michel Odent.. and I had three wonderful home births. Total privacy...the key for reaching another state of consciousness...
And when I realized that giving birth can be the most amazing experience of your life...I wanted to be a midwife. But Michel Odent told me: 'Midwifery today is too medicalized, you will not survive the training'.
Until the day when, in 1998, Michel Odent told me about being a doula; he could see me well in that role. And I started right away!
And he was right. It suits me perfectly. I feel like a bodyguard! When the woman is in labour, I protect her space...so she can reach 'another planet'.
When a woman is scared of giving birth, I listen to her first and then I try to understand her reasons. Birth physiology is a chapter of brain physiology. Our big handicap when in labour is the activity of our neocortex and some women cannot easily let go and surrender.
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